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Writer's Block: Name that tune [30 Nov 2009|10:53am]
Is there any song you'll never grow tired of hearing? If so, what is it, how long have you loved it, and why?

Bob Marley - Redemption song. Ive loved it for as long as I can remember. When I was only 3 my aunt passed away and we made a vidoe of all of her memories. That song is on there. Everytime I hear it I think about her. Its what keeps me motivated. Its what keeps me from drinking and driving. I think it really keeps my head on right.
think of me

FML [13 Sep 2009|04:33pm]
[ mood | fuck it ]

Ugh 7 months since my last post and shit is so up and down. I hate this. The only thing that makes me happy anymore is my beautiful little boy. He was born april 25th. Weighing 9lbs 3 oz. Big ol boy. LOL. I named him Landon Robert Barr. Ugh of course he had to have his daddys name in there somewhere. Asshole. ANYWAY, so once again shit with Robby is going down hill. Hes driving around a  totally illegal truck like an idiot. I hope he ends up in jail. I really do. It would be the best place for him right now. Hes just being soo stupid. He still acts like I do nothing for him and he thinks that just becuase he goes to work and brings the money in that i have to sit home and be a slave. No I dont think so. He is ignorant to me. Mean to me. And I am finally at witts end with him. I cant do this anymore. He tells me "I dont want candles in the living room becuase they piss me off" WHAT THE FUCK DOES A CANDLE DO TO YOU TO PISS YOU OFF?! Seriously how controlling and ignorant is that? I mean I love the boy to death but he needs to grow up and change his ways.. I dont even want to talk about it anymore. Peace.


think of me

[03 Feb 2009|08:36pm]
Wow everythings done a 360 since my last post. Robby and I are together and happier than ever. Im 29 weeks pregnant & its a boyy. just figured id update saying that I was happy. =]

think of me

diediedie [24 Jun 2008|04:05am]
[ mood | pissed the fuck off. ]

I dont know what to do anymore. Nothings changed since the last post. over a month ago. Just the arguing has gotten worse. and maybe his temper. He pushes me away more now than he ever did before. Lastnight we got into one of the biggest fights weve ever gotten into. He of course wanted to spend the night at JTs house when I wanted him home with me. SORRY FOR BEING A NEEDY PEICE OF SHIT GIRLFRIEND. So I told him I hated him. He left. I got all his shit and took it to JTs house. But of course everything was easier said than done over the phone. I tell him to get his shit. I get all his stuff for him. Take it to him and I give in. Like always. Im pathetic. What else is there to say? im PATHETIC. I have no life. He is my life. I need a fucking job. UGH. I need away from him. I need my bestfriend back. But works taken her over. Evan has been really cool to me. Hes an amazing friend. Hes always there when I really need him. He always has been. Supossed to go to the beach with Nikki tomorrow. Cant do that now. Cause my cars a peice of shit. Fuck it. Everytime I finally get something to do. it gets blown to hell. I hate it. Sometimes I swear I hate robby. and whateverbut we all know that i love that fucking kid more than anything. Hes like a fucking drug.  He tells me yesterday, well he PRATICALLY told me that we spend too much time together. How do you spend too much time together when you dont even spend one on one time together? Right too much time together around his friends soo apperantly im a bitchy girlfriend when I want one on one time. Thats too much to ask right? I cant spend a day with him or even a few hours without a friend butting in. Hes rude to me. He acts like I  dont do shit for him. He acts like I havent done shit for him. So when I remind him im AUTOMATICALLY trying to throw everything ive ever done for him up in his face. Whatever. Im not that kinda person. I just want to be shown that im fucking apprechiated. Is that also too much to ask? I have guys thatwould treat me like a princess. Guys that would do ANYTHING to be with me. but no I choose to be with Robby. You know why? CAUSE I FUCKING LOVE HIM. UGHHHHHHHHHH. It makes me soooo angry. I ask him what he loves about me and all he can say is when im happy and playful. But yet when im happy and playful and I try t play with him he gets pissed off becuase its "his body and he doesnt like to be touched" Yeah whatever. He wouldnt mind if some hot bitch was touchin all up on him. He told me today that some bitch had a fat ass. After he stared at her untill she got into her car. Hes told me before he wants to just drink some beers at the titty bar and look at tittes.What the fuck kinda bullshit is that? Its soo disrespectful. I would never say some shit like that to him. Hes told me already that he would beat a guys ass if he was waving his dick all in my face. But its okay for him to have some low life hoe waving her pussy or titties in his right? Of course cause he does NOTHING wrong. EVER. He spends all the time in the world with me. He shows me that he apprechiates me. He gets me whatever I want. He listens to me when I talk to him. Pft what the fuck ever. Sometimes I wish He would just let me go. I think things wouldbe easier that way. But then I dont want my life without him. Becuase I love the little moments we do have together. Like today in the truck. He just looked at me and it seemed like I was the only person in his life. I felt special. That I was special. Then poof.. its gone and were back to the way we are. Arguing. Being pissy. He has an attitude problem. that needs to be fixed quick. He says if I would have been any other girl that he would have broken everything in the room and he would have left and broken anything breakable on his way out. Bullshit. Whatever. Its 4:20 in the damn morning and im sitting online cause im fucking pissed. I cant sleep because hes asleep in the bed. Sometimes all I want from him is a fucking "baby i love you. I want to be with you. I dont want anyone else." WHY CANT I GET THAT? EVER EVER EVER????!!!! Thats ALL I FUCKING WANT SOMETIMES. UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

1 thought | think of me

life.. [13 May 2008|11:59pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]


.smells good, with out cologne.

.dark hair.
.smiles with teeth in pictures.
.drives with the palm of his hand.
.stands up for himself, with respect.

.patience for ignorant people.
.wears good pants a.k.a from buckle/zumiez/lucky/aeropostale.
.sensuous lips.
.wear shirts that fit well. [no flaring out in the back or really wide]
.river down his back. [like defined]
.never timid or unsure.
.wears good shoes a.k.a fallen/dvs.
.respects my parents.
.loves to hang with various members of my family.
.dont text girls.
.wants me right by his side to party.
.im his love AND best friend.
.doesnt let his asshole friends talk shit.
.cry once in a while.
.take me to the drive inn.
.love wal mart.
.take the eyelash off my cheek and tell me to wish.
.wear pajamas
.sit outside at night, just because its pretty out.
..make popsicles out of frozen koolaid.
.love my pets like i do.
.be jealous, dont overdo it.
.dont focus everything around sexualness.
.dont fall asleep when we watch a movie.
.be content.
.get in the photobooth and pull faces.
.make me something.
.dont tell me i am "hot."
.always barefoot.
.doesnt need attention from sluts.
.talk about me when i am not there.
.yell back at me when we fight.
.help me shift when i drive.
.have self-esteem. 
.never lie.
.make me a dinner.
.let me wear big tall shoes.
.shave my legs.
.rent old movies.
.dont be obsessed with the gym.
.include me in sports.
.hold me on your hip like im a little kid.
.dont obsess about the t.v.
.dont be anxious when we are doing nothing.
.dont wear a shirt when you dont need to.
.give me your underwear.
.dont suffocate me when we sleep in the same bed.
.kiss me, we dont always need to make out.
.never pretend indifference.
.eat ramen noodles.
.stare at me when i stare at you.
.push me on the shopping cart.
.eat whatever i try to feed you.
.tell me about your past.
.when i cry dont tell me to stop.
.let me be mad at you.
.sing in the car. [loud]
.take care of your hands.
.respect my gay friends.
.when i punch you, dont hit me back with the force of 1000 tons.
.dont assume im doing something wrong, then think its ok for you to do it.
.dont pretend to be someone else in front of other people.
.be my doctor.
.have the most respect for my sister. 
.give a meaningful hug.
.take my mom to lunch.
.make smart money decisions.
.want to help with things like cleaning.
.no sweaty hands.
.long hair or short.
.look cute in the mornings.
.admit when you are wrong.
.listen to my music even if you hate it.
.talk like me.
.wear basketball shorts.
.be aggressive, but know when enough is enough.
.dont make waitresses feel stupid for something they do wrong.
.watch americas next top model with me and like it.
.write me a note.
.dont give up so easily.
.dont brag about stuff you do.
.tell me when there is something in my teeth.
.love vegetables.
.eat the food that i dont want or like.
.dont lead other girls on, let them know you are with me and your not interested.
.when we go shopping dont get irritated.
.offer to pay when its more than just me and you going to dinner.
.let people in when there is traffic.
.draw for me.
.take me to the park to swing.
.be able to talk to my family/parents when im not there.
.come see me at work.
.make brownies.
.make a movie with me.
.tell me what you are thinking at that real second.
.go to the store so we can get treats for a movie.
.tell me what songs remind him of me.
.save all the little things i give.
.go on bike rides.
.scratch my back where i cant reach.
.say "we" instead of just "I."
.make fun of yourself.

Life seems so dumb right now. I keep trying to make everyone happy. and no matter how hard I try the worse everything is. I dont know what to do with myself anymore.  I just want for Robby to be happy. But I just seem to be a bother to him. He gets irritated with me wayy too easily. and it drives me crazy. I love this kid so fucking much. I wish we spent more one on one time. But we dont. Then he gives me the "well this weekend" No. I want one on one time now. and not when were about to go to bed. I drop him off at work at 8 in the morning. and pick him up at 5. We get home and he automatically wants to go to a friends house.  We stay untill 11 and then we come home and go to bed.  Where is our personal time? We havent been home alone and spent a day to ourselfs in over 3 weeks. I feel like im a shitty girlfriend or something. I dont know what to do anymore. Maybe im giving too much. ~ a place to live. ~ a ride to wherever. ~i put up with his friends when I dont want to. ~ I make sure he has everything he needs to be happy. But why aint I happy? I cant get anything out of him anymore. He says he wants to spend forever with me. But sometimes I dont believe it. It sucks. I hate guys. They are so confusing and so annoying. I need friends. I dont have any. So im left to hang out with only his friends. I need a job. Something to do during the day. Im gonna explode one day and its not going to be cool. Im just waiting on that day....


think of me

and theres no way to know what might have been... [16 Jul 2007|11:18am]
[ mood | blank ]

Never leave the one you love for the one you like.
Because the one you like will leave you for the one they love.

last night was alot of fun. I hung out with Nikki and her sister Taryn. We went and saw Harry Potter - and The Order Of The Pheniox. It was a pretty good movie. The graphics are amazing. Cregg and Evan called and wanted us to hang out with them after the movie but Nikki and Taryns mom and dad wanted us to come home. It was okay though. I get to see Cregg tomorrow. I dont know if im very excited about that but oh well. He thinks im a whore. Whatever. Maybe he was kidding maybe he wasn't. I guess I wont ever really know what he thinks of me. Whatever. Anyway. We went home and Nikkis mom had gotten her a Hookah from the Bahamas. Its little but its cute. We smoked some two apple flavour tobacco. It was good. We smoked with her dad. He was kinda drunk and kept saying he was gonna get us the "real stuff" Yeah right. That will NEVER happen. hahah. But the night turned out good and whatnot. I have to be to work at 2:30 today.. I'm gonna go start getting ready..

Tomorrow is the Our Tied Hands show at Fuel. Doors open at 7. All ages. Bring a friend.

To be continued...

think of me

wtf [07 Jul 2007|03:02pm]
I just wish I didnt care and worry so much.
love is a mother fucker.
1 thought | think of me

jesus christ [28 Apr 2007|08:57pm]
[ mood | upset ]

Its like no matter how hard I try its never right.
Im constantly wanting to pull my hair out. 
I cant take it anymore.

think of me

hmmm [27 Mar 2007|04:52pm]
[ mood | apathetic ]

Long time no update. Sorry.

January - Wren went to jail. We brake up because hes stupid && cant keep his dick in his pants.  
[1/21/07] Thomas and I got together.

Febuary - Nothing exciting happened. That I can think of.

March - [3/7/07] Thomas and I broke up because hes going to college in Miami and its not worth it. Oh well.
[3/19/07]- Arrested for shopliftning. gay.

[3/22-25/07]- Spring break.: Spent it in Orlando with Shilo & Kurt @ Kurts house. =]

not drunk.


think of me

[13 Nov 2006|12:44pm]

Alright so I havent updated in forever.Sorry about that. Ive been pretty busy latly.

This past weekend has been one of the best weekends ever. you know like ahh
it was just amazing. Thursday night Shilo spent the night with me. Then Friday night
we went out to the beach and stayed the night with Wren and Josh. Josh is Shilos boyfriend
there so cute togehter. There absolutly adorable. Saturday we came home and Nikki was here. So
we called Cregg and Cameron. They came and picked us up and we went to hang out at Creggorys.
We had so much fun it was unbelievable. Creggs dad wasnt there but Dayquil ended up coming over and
we were all jsut chillin in the living room. and we had to take shilo home. So I went with Cregg
to take her home. and we sang Relient K and Taking Back Sunday really loud. Because were cool.
then when we got back home someone got the bright idea to go on a "candy bar run" at 1030 at night.
so we go to the store by creggs and the guy thinks im on drugs because im laughing (i was totally
giggly) and I was singing somehting about chocolate milk and making beats on everything
with a slim jim. hahaha. Then yeah we went back home played some madden. and Nikki and I had to be home at 12.
So cregg decides he has to wait on Evan to call. We didnt get home untill 1230. Oh well. Whatever. idc anymore.
Anywho, so Nikki and I get home and we go to bed after we eat and whatnot. and we wake up Sunday call my
sister to take us to taco bell because were starving and she takes 2 hours to get here. But she gets here
and then Nikkis siter comes over and takes us back to Nikkis house. There we get ready for the Brand New show.
When we got there, there were lines on both sides of Fuel. There were soooo many people ther. It was rediculas.
But yeah During the show my body decided to go gay and I balcked out twice. I blakced out during my favorite
song too. =[ but thats okay. I lasted almost the entire song. Brand New would have been so much more
amazing if it wasnt so packed. Whatever. There was way too many people in there. Oh well. I got a hoodie. =]
they were $30!! god. Oh well. They did a good job. But that was my weekend. Exciting huh? ;] xo

think of me

[13 Nov 2006|12:40pm]
If that's all you will be, you'll be a waste of time 
You've dreamed a thousand dreams, none seem to stick in your mind
Two points for honesty
It must make you sad to know that nobody cares at all

I want to be where I've never been before
I want to be there and then I'd understand
Know I'm right and do it right, could I get to be like that
I'll know what I don't know with nothin more to gain
Will I get better or stay the same
I find I always move too slowly
Can't lift a finger, can't change my mind
I never knew till someone told me that...
If that's all you will be, you'll be a waste of time
You've dreamed a thousand dreams, none seem to stick in your mind
Two points for honesty
It must make you sad to know that nobody cares at all
And all the people who've seen it all before
And all the people who really understand
Know they're right, and have done it right, could I get to be like that
I'll know what I don't know, it's harder everyday
Can't lift a finger, can't hurt a fly
I've found I always move too slowly
One things for certain, I'm insecure
I never knew till someone told me that....
If that's all you will be, you'll be a waste of time
You've dreamed a thousand dreams, none seem to stick in your mind
Two points for honesty
It must make you sad to know that nobody cares at all
Nobody cares at all
They never care at all

think of me

forget. [12 Oct 2006|07:56pm]
forget his name,
forget his face,
forget his kiss,
his warm embrace,
forget tha love i once knew,
forget him when they play our song,
remember when i cried all nite long,
remember how close we once were,
forget how i memorized how he walked,
forget the way he used to talk,
forget the things he used to say,
remember he has gone away,
forget his laugh, forget his grin,
forget the dimples on his chin,
forget the way he held me tite,
forget the time that went so fast,
forget the love that moved, its tha past.
forget he said he'd leave me never,
remember he is gone forever.
Television tha heart feels what the eyes cannot see and knows what the mind cannot understand...

it's a short word. easy to spell.
difficult to define. & impossible to live without. I told you that I loved you, & my heart stopped,
not cus I was saying it for the first time,
but cus I knew I meant it more than anything I love you more than anyone else
in the whole world..& you
don't even have a clue. No one does.
My world is such a mess without you.
Nothing makes sense.
I wonder if I'm going to feel
this way forever. It seems like eternity
already & I'm not sure how much
more I can take. All I can do is sit here & wonder.
Wonder how you can break my heart in two,
but at the same time,
be the only reason why i'm still here.. don't ignore it
you love me Just one wish, please
Just give me one more chance to be with you
Just one more kiss
just one more lifetime of love
Just, you and me<33 never write our names in a heart
because a heart can break
write it in a cirle
because a circle goes on forever
think of me

[09 Oct 2006|06:19pm]
Gotta let it burnCollapse )<I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on On the other side I wanna break down and cry (ooooh) I'm twisted cuz one side of me is tellin' me that I need to move on On the other side I wanna break down and cry (yeah)
think of me

Sorry its long. [09 Oct 2006|03:13pm]
This reminded me of an ex boyfriend. I didnt write this.
idk who did.

storyCollapse )
1 thought | think of me

ugh [08 Oct 2006|06:13am]
[ mood | confused ]

Sunday - 2/10
Monday - 12/5
Tuesday - Off
Wednesday - Off. I MAY TRY TO GO TO CHURCH!!!!
Thursday - 12/5
Friday - 3/9
Satruday - OFF.

Im confused about a lot of shit and i have a feeling im gonna do soemthing that I dont really mean. jesus christ.

Im so sore everywhere from work. I need a full body massage SO bad. I think Jeff Smith and I are going to start running together. To get ready for soccer season. =) I love Jeff-REY. anbywho its 235 and i gg to bed. so goodnight

think of me

WORK [02 Oct 2006|08:31pm]
[ mood | dfhrfgjhgujk ]

Monday: 1/8
Tuesday: 4/10
Wednesday: OFF
Friday: 4/12
Saturday: 4/12

LAME. This like cuban boy came in to work today and wa totally  hitting on me and he put his head on his hand and looked at me and was like "Are you single?" I said "No." and he said "I figurd that. Someone that beautiful always has a boyfriend." it was cute  ANYWHO yeah i stole some hersheys pies :) GOODBYE

think of me

[30 Sep 2006|11:46pm]
[ mood | exhausted ]

So tonight. It was alright I guess. I mean it wasnt boring but it could have been alittle more fun.. But the boys got into the football mode and we did nothing but play football of some sort all night. Dinner was great. I had an enchalada or whatever. but it was good. Then we went back to Creggs and Lysol, Dayquil and Sandi came over. Once they got there we went to target so the boys couldplay football in the parking lot. That was fun. Then we went back to Creggs and the boys payed Blitz.. and I fell asleep. Once they were done playing that, Wil, Lysol and Dayquil had to take Sandi back up to Target and it took them like 30 mins and its like a 10 mins there and back. Oh well. While they were gone I went to sleep. Once they were back Wil woke me up we kinda cuddled for a moment then he decided he was going to take me home. 

think of me

omg [30 Sep 2006|01:37pm]
[ mood | happy ]

omg last night was soo  much fun. Christina Corrie (CORIIE?! WITH TWO I'S?) and I went to the Bishop Snyder game. We had so much fun. Bishop Snyder won. There so school spirited. Its so cute. We played in the bleachers. Messed with peoples feet. haha This little girl was going to sneek me some candy. It was funny. We scared people. omg we just had so much fun. I love her to death. I always have the best time with her. OHH BS has like perfect grass so we walked on it and took pioctures of our footprints and then our hands. Its so cute. Shes so fun to be with. I hpe we hang out more often. Bj has called me 6 times today. Ugh. He needs to go somewhere. ill put the pictures from last night up on here when i get them from Christina. =) anywho i gotta do my hair. I got a date tonight with William. Were going to Dinner and a movie. =)  <33

think of me

[27 Sep 2006|09:37pm]
[ mood | Upset ]

God I was so happy earlier and all it took was one thing and now im crying.. I miss so many people. But msot of all I miss my bestfriend. Ever since one stupid fight nothing has been the same. I miss Meghan soo much. She always knew how to make me happy. But nothing seems to be the same. we have awkward silences. we used to be able to talk about everything.  We never stoped tlaking when we were together and now its like I have to try and find something to talk about. I miss her so much. I Feel like shes died or something.  Weve been bestfriends since befroe we can even remeber and now its like someone I just talk to every blue moon and its so stupid. I hate it.. I wish we would have never ahd that argument over Katy. Katys one of my best friends but nothing like Meghan was.  I mean im glad I have Nikki who I can talk to but she somtimes is more like a mother than a bestfriend. But shes one of the bestest friends I could ever ask for. Shes been there for me since day one. Yeah we have stupid arguments but were over them in a couple of mins. God I just want my bestfriend back. It sucks so bad. Im so sad without her. I really am.  God damnit. I was so happy 20 mins ago and now im in tears. She was my bestfirend and I want that back. Every moment we could hang out we did. Even if it was for 20 mins. I cant even type anymore.

think of me

=) [24 Sep 2006|12:38am]
[ mood | sleepy ]

Work today was good. New schedule for the week.

Sunday - 3/10
Monday Through Wednesday. I'll get back to yall on the hours. But i've got Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday off. =) Im supossed to be going to the zoo with, Nikki, Wil, and Creggory Saturday im pretty damn excited about that. 

Anywho, My back has crazy knots in it so im gonna go lay down and whatnot. I hope everyone had a good night.

think of me

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